I was 15, I had gotten my period for the first time a year prior and my gyno put me on birth control to deal with ovarian cysts. The medication worked - I no longer would need the operation. In parallel, I experienced depression for the first time. It was almost two decades later I made the connection, and I will never truly know if birth control had a causal effect on my mood. All I know is my body started changing into a shape I would only grow out of with somatic work.
My shoulders started rolling forward, head leaning way past my torso. My hips were tucked in, with my tailbone leaning towards the front of my body, and the result was a deep heaviness on my heart. I felt a sense of desperation I had not encountered before. I had always been an athletic girl, I played volleyball all my teenage years until the end of university, and yet it felt like my body was starting to fold inwards and forwards.
For years I battled with depression on and off. I felt like my natural state was being depressed and everything else was the exception. Then, while dad was terminally ill, I developed a herniated disk in my lower back which forced me to rethink health and chronic pain, both physical and mental. I was able to heal my lower back pain with psycho-somatic work, and I started having some insights about the connection between body and emotion.
As I strengthened my back, core, and glutes, my postured changed. I became taller, my shoulders started rolling backwards where they belonged, and my abdomen became capable of supporting me. I would often end my workouts with 10-15min self-Shiatsu and somatic work. The knot I'd often felt in my stomach and the gripping tightness in my chest were slowly released, and unsurprisingly I started feeling more confident.
I'm not sure whether this means that I will not experience depression again - it's impossible to predict what will be - but I know that when the tightness surfaces I have the awareness and the tools to release it both at a physical, and at a mental level.